


Nightmare

by HumanJukebox



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Bonding, Emotions, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Nightmare, because I need more Vanessa & Noah bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumanJukebox/pseuds/HumanJukebox
Summary: 'Noah furrows his eyebrows as he tries to make sense of where he is. Drops of sweat are slowly collecting on his forehead and his back feels a little damp. There’s a sense of anxiety and panic building inside of him that he can’t place.The mumbles, the sounds of cars and people talking around him slowly start to become clearer and louder. It was difficult to decipher what was being said, but it soon started to sound like someone’s name was being called.'Or;Noah has a nightmare and seeks out comfort





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Ever have that thing where you have a complete outline written and then when you're actually writing, the story goes into a slightly different direction?
> 
> That's basically what happened here. My muse was like "We gon' go deeper into this" and what the muse tells you to write, you write, so here we are. It's slightly more serious than I had intended but I still quite like it
> 
> I hope you like it too :)

**Nightmare**

 

When Noah had first found out that his mum was ‘seeing’ Vanessa, he had simply rolled his eyes and thought to himself that it would just be one of those things that would end after about a month. Two months tops maybe.

His mum didn’t have a great track record concerning relationships to begin with, and he’d honestly believed Vanessa was just another name on the list of people for his mum to keep herself busy with for a little while. And considering his mum’s annoying and often hurtful habit of scheming people, he also wouldn’t have put it past her if this was another one of those things.

And even though Noah tried his best not to care about how nice and caring Vanessa was━not only towards his mum but to Debbie and Moses, and _even_ him━he still couldn’t deny how different Vanessa was from the others. How Vanessa managed to make his mum smile━a real, honest smile that he so rarely saw before they got together.

How Vanessa was there for his mum when she went through all that stuff with Bails, with Ryan. How supportive she was during all of that and how she was there not only for his mum but Debbie too when Sarah had gotten so sick. How she dealt with him being stroppy, dismissive, and sometimes acting downright rude to her━something he’s come to regret and knows he still needs to apologize for.

How she didn’t take any of his mum’s crap or angry words that she’d spit out in drunken hazes when emotions were too overwhelming and too much for her to keep inside. How she hadn’t ever chosen the easy way out, when _all_ of them had given her plenty of reason to leave.

Vanessa had _never_ walked away. Sure, she would give his mum space to cool down, or to cool herself down from saying things she didn’t mean during a heated argument, but never _ever_ had she turned her back on his mum, on _them._ She’d always come back.

And _that_ had made a big difference from all the others that had been there before. Vanessa truly and honestly cared. But that also meant that if his mum and Vanessa were to split up or if something else were to happen that caused them to not be together anymore, it would not only break his mum’s heart, it would break _his_ heart too.

And Noah hadn’t realized how close they had come to losing Vanessa until that afternoon two months ago. When he’d heard that Vanessa had been stabbed, it threw him for a loop. He didn’t know how to react to it.

He had gotten so used to Vanessa being around all the time; had gotten used to her weird humor and terrible jokes━that he secretly actually liked━, had gotten used to her nagging about cleaning up after himself and keeping his room at least a little tidy, that he hadn’t realized how much Vanessa had started to mean to him.

Vanessa had become a part of his family. And that day, he’d almost lost her. Almost lost another person he cared so much about, a person he’d started to love as a second parent.

And Noah honestly doesn’t know how he would’ve coped if Vanessa hadn’t survived.

XOX

The past few nights, Noah had felt a little restless. He doesn’t know why but for some reason falling asleep had become harder and harder. His thoughts would sometimes run wild and his heart would sometimes start to race for no reason. The palpitations he’d felt, often left him with a feeling of panic.

Noah wasn’t someone who often dreamed about things. And if he did, he’d pretty much forget about it as soon as he’d woken up. But since yesterday morning, the weird dream he’d startled awake from, had been playing around in his head almost non-stop.

The thing that had freaked him out about the dream weren’t the visuals━for there weren’t really many that he could actually describe or remember━, but it was the screaming of unclear words by voices he recognized but couldn’t place and the flashes of different shades of red and blue.

He didn’t have any idea what the dream had actually been about but he had dreaded going to bed that night. And even though the night had thankfully been dreamless, he was still dreading going to sleep tonight as well.

XOX

Even though Noah had still felt a small sense of panic and dread throughout the morning, he’d soon forgotten about it when Vanessa started to make breakfast for the boys and him. And as his mum and Vanessa joked around with each other━his mum often still telling Vanessa to be careful even though she was completely healed up by now━he’d started to feel better and more at ease.

Once he’d gotten to school, the day had seemed to somehow fly by and before he knew it, they’d eaten their dinner together, Vanessa had pressed about getting his homework done, and his mum had bathed the younger boys.

And now it was bedtime again. But this time the dread and panicky feeling from last night and the night before hadn’t returned. Noah easily got settled in bed and for the first time since a long time, had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as his head had hit the pillow.

XOX

_Noah furrows his eyebrows as he tries to make sense of where he is. Drops of sweat are slowly collecting on his forehead and his back feels a little damp. There’s a sense of anxiety and panic building inside of him that he can’t place._

_The mumbles, the sounds of cars and people talking around him slowly start to become clearer and louder. It was difficult to decipher what was being said, but it soon started to sound like someone’s name was being called._

_He tries to look around him but all he can see is a brick wall that’s slowly becoming clearer. He’s outside. But he has no idea where he is standing until he turns around to face another building. It’s the Woolpack._

_But why would he be standing outside?_

_He turns his head to the left and sees a couple of people standing around in a half-circle. He furrows his brows even more as he slowly walks closer. Gasps, soft sobbing, and a voice he starts to recognize become more audible as he gets closer to the group of people._

_“No, no. This can’t be happening!”_

_A shrill, pain-filled voice fills the air as he tries to make his way through the circle of people. He only realizes he’s pushed a sobbing Tracy into Frank when the blonde starts to cry harder and hears Frank yell out a_ _“Hey, watch your step.”_

_As he comes to a stop in front of them, he looks down. There’s a blonde woman bent over another woman who’s laying on the ground. He doesn’t know what has happened but he’s not liking it at all._

_He can feel his heartbeat start to quicken as his eyes trace over the two women before his eyes suddenly widen with horror. The blonde woman bent over the seemingly lifeless body looks a lot like his mother. It looks too much like his mother and he starts to shake his head._

_“No…” he breathes out before stepping closer. He reaches out to touch her shoulder while whispering out a broken, “M-mum.”_

_His mum doesn’t turn around or even look up, she just clings more desperately onto the body in her arms and starts to sob even harder while letting out choked “No’s” and muttering that it can’t be real._

_Noah only knows one person these days that could get such a heartbroken reaction from his mum and that’s… Oh, no. It can’t be Vanessa. Vanessa who was always there for them. Vanessa who took care of them all. Vanessa who had made them into a family again._

_No._

_He keeps shaking his head as he moves around his mum’s shaking body. He refuses to believe that that is Vanessa. It just couldn’t be her._

_But as he comes to stand on the other side of his mum and lets his eyes wander over the lifeless body━stomach covered in a sickly red color━, his heart breaks and his eyes immediately fill with water. He looks up through blurry eyes at his mum and the pain edged on her face breaks him completely._

_Noah feels his legs go out from underneath him and he starts grabbing at a hand that feels way too cold. Heartbreak quickly changes into anger and he starts to pull at the hand. He reaches out and starts to shake the━Vanessa’s━body. She has to wake up, she just has to._

_But nothing is happening. His hands are covered in blood. People around him are sobbing and sniffling. He can hear his mum’s heartbroken voice as she whispers out Vanessa’s name._

_Still he refuses to give in and keeps trying to wake up Vanessa. Starts to plead with her; to wake up, to come back to them. To not leave them. To not leave him. But nothing works. No matter how hard he pulls, no matter how hard he yells. Vanessa is not waking up._

XOX

Noah jerks up and his breathing is very fast as he looks around his room in a blind panic. His heart is almost jumping out of his chest, it’s pounding _that_ hard. There’s wetness on his cheeks and he doesn’t realize they are tears until he lifts his hand and wipes at them.

It takes him a while to realize where he is. To realize that he’s in his own bedroom. To realize that it had just been a dream, and that Vanessa is safely in her bedroom.

Taking a few big gulps of air, he tries to calm down his breathing and slow down his heartbeat. He tries to focus on one item in the room━a technique he’d seen Vanessa use to calm down his mum when she’d had an unexpected panic attack back when the Bails stuff was going on.

Once he’s calmer, his thoughts drift immediately back to the dream, or well, the _nightmare_ that had terrified the life out of him. It had all seemed so real, it had _felt_ so real, and he’s still very shaken by it all. The noises, the sobbing, the heartbroken look on his mum’s face━that had looked almost identical to the one she’d worn the two days were Vanessa hadn’t woken up yet.

The blood. That had scared him the most. There was just so much… No.

Noah shakes his head. He can’t, doesn’t _want_ to think about it anymore. But the panic and eerie feeling he still has doesn’t subside.

He needs to see Vanessa. Just needs to know that she’s really okay even though he knows in his head that Vanessa is just fine.

XOX

Vanessa was sitting up in hers and Charity’s bed, a magazine about all things animal in her hands that she was slowly reading through. Charity has the ‘pleasure’ of closing the pub tonight so it would still be about an hour before she would be joining her. Luckily for Vanessa _and_ Charity, they both have the day off tomorrow so they could sleep in and begin their day a little later than usual.

She’s reading a very interesting article about some new surgery techniques when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye. She doesn’t move her head as she quickly looks over to see which of the two toddlers has decided to join her this time, but is slightly surprised when she notes that it’s actually Noah.

Their relationship with one another has slowly been getting better over the past few weeks, it’s still a little strenuous at times, but she has learned that when it comes to Noah, she just has to let him lead and tell her what’s going on instead of pushing him━something she did too much of in the beginning.

Vanessa lightly shakes her head to herself as the thought of Noah being so much like his mother pops up in her head. Without taking her eyes off of the article, she speaks up after a long moment, “Are you going to stand there or come in?”

When she hears no movement and doesn’t even get a grunt in response, she chances a glance up at Noah, who is gripping the doorknob so tightly with his hand that his knuckles have turned white, almost matching the paleness of his face, and Vanessa frowns.

She puts her magazine down in her lap and tries to make eye-contact with Noah. But all he seems to be doing is stare at her with a strange look on his face.

“Noah?” Vanessa softly calls out but it doesn’t seem to register, so she says his name again, only a little louder this time. She tries to get a read on the look on his face but can only manage to decipher fear, pain, and worry, and it makes her wonder what had caused it.

His eyes have a red, glassy shine to them when he finally looks up at her and it worries her even more. It looks like he’s been crying and all Vanessa wants to do is comfort him.

“Are you okay?” she asks him and after a moment of silence, wherein his eyes seem to travel over her body in a concerned gaze━eyes lingering on her stomach where she’d been stabbed━, moving back up to her face again before quickly breaking eye-contact again, he opens his mouth.

“I-I…” Is all that comes out in a shaky tone before Noah harshly swallows before trying again. What comes out is a flood of words and Vanessa has a really hard time catching the words that are coming out. But the words she does catch, make her shiver.

_Nightmare. Blood. So much blood, Ness._

The last two words are whispered so softly but Vanessa hears them. It makes the hair on her back stand up on end and her heart breaks as the words settle in her brain.

_You died._

Noah had had a nightmare and she had died in it. It doesn’t seem to completely register in her own brain but she’s quickly pulled from her own fog as she hears Noah’s breath start to hitch and speed up.

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m━” Vanessa doesn’t get the chance to finish her sentence before Noah starts to shake his head and another flood of words tumble out again.

“I’m okay. I just…” Noah shakes his head but continues, “You, you _d-died_ … And I, I just n-needed to check. That you’re o-okay. A-and you a-are. You’re totally f-fine and I’m… I’m sorry for, disturbing you. I’m gonna, uh, go. Yeah.”

And with a final headnod to himself, Noah starts to turn around to leave, trying to keep the tears at bay because boys do _not_ cry. It was just a silly dream. Vanessa is okay and he should just go now.

_“Noah?”_ Vanessa’s tone is so soft and soothing, and Noah just can’t keep it together anymore. The first tear starts to roll down his cheek and he doesn’t realize he started to shake until he feels Vanessa turn him around and wrap her arms around him in a tight hug.

The hug seems to break some kind of dam because suddenly he’s sobbing and clinging onto Vanessa for dear life. Noah presses his face into her shoulder and feels her softly rub his back in soothing motions.

After a moment, he feels Vanessa pull him with her towards the bed and they both sit down. He doesn’t care anymore that he’s crying his eyes out. He hadn’t realized how truly scared he had been about almost losing Vanessa until this nightmare.

Where it had been so scarily real.

When he finally calms down again, he slowly breaks the hug but lets Vanessa keep her hand on his shoulder for extra comfort. He attempts to wipe at his eyes as his cheeks flush with embarrassment at losing it so completely, but Vanessa is there quicker and with a touch so motherly, swipes her thumb under his eyes and catches the last of his tears.

“You’re okay,” Vanessa whispers softly to him before continuing, “And so am I, okay? Can you tell me what happened in your dream? I mean, if you’re ready to.”

Noah takes a deep breath before slowly nodding his head. Talking about things was never really his thing. But it also had never been his mum’s thing, but ever since Vanessa had been in their lives, it had become a lot easier for his mum to open up, so maybe he can do that too.

And so Noah starts to tell Vanessa about his dream, this time taking the time with his words so Vanessa can actually understand them. He starts talking about the noises and the sobbing. About the blood and heartbroken look on his mum’s face. About how that look had been so much like the one she’d worn when Vanessa had been in hospital.

Noah doesn’t even seem to realize he had stopped talking about his nightmare and instead had started to speak about how Chas had called him when Vanessa had got stabbed. How scared he had been and how the pain and fear on his mum’s face had made him feel panicked.

How he didn’t know what to feel, or to do to help his mum. How scared he was of losing her because he’d started to realize that he’d actually really liked having her around.

How _angry_ he’d been at her for not walking away and calling the coppers and instead had tackled the guy. How Vanessa could’ve been so stupid, but still finding it a little heroic as well.

Everything that he had hidden inside of him came tumbling out and before he knew what was happening, Vanessa’s arms were wrapped around him in a tight hug again. And while a few weeks ago he would’ve pulled away━from anyone who’d try to hug him━, tonight he just gripped her back harder; realizing just how much he missed being hugged and how much he needed it right now.

After a moment, Vanessa pulls back and opens her mouth, “Thank you for telling me that. I know that wasn’t easy.”

Noah tries to reply but Vanessa shakes her head and continues after taking a deep breath, “I’m so sorry, Noah. I’m sorry for worrying you so much. I’m sorry for being stupid. I knew I shouldn’t have done that. Your mum has told me that quite often.”

They both let out a small chuckle because the words _‘quite often’_ didn’t even come close to how many times Charity had reprimanded Vanessa’s stupid heroics of that day.

Vanessa’s face softens and the honesty in her eyes makes Noah want to look away, but he doesn’t, and he waits until Vanessa starts to speak again.

“And as I promised your mum, I will promise to you as well that I will never ever do something _this ridiculously daft and scary and stupid_ ever again.”

Noah can’t help the small smile pulling at his lips at the words he knows his mum must’ve made Vanessa say being uttered to him. He just silently nods his head and they stay silent for another moment.

Noah notices how heavy and exhausted his body feels. And even after their lengthy talk and knowing that Vanessa is really and truly okay, he still doesn’t want to leave. He just has the need to stay close to Vanessa for a little while longer. But he doesn’t know how to say it.

Luckily for him, Vanessa seems to pick up on that and nods her head towards the headboard, “C’mon. You can sit with me until your mum is done closing the pub.”

Noah is grateful for the offer and the two settle down next to each other. He lets out a yawn as Vanessa pulls the blankets over their legs. She pats the space next to her and tells him to _‘lay down before he keels over or something’_. With a shake of his head and a smile on his face he does what she says and finds a comfortable position to lie in.

XOX

_A little over an hour later_

Charity has finally finished her evening shift and has just finished locking all the doors. The pub is reasonably cleaned up━it’s only fair that Chas has at least _something_ to do before her shift starts tomorrow━, the remnants of her midnight snack have been tidied away as well, and she’s just ready to get changed and face-plant her bed.

She turns off all the lights downstairs and checks that the door by the stairs is locked before slowly and quietly making her way up the stairs. The nightly routine of checking the kids’ bedrooms is something she has started to look forward to in the past few months.

Charity checks up on Moses and Johnny’s rooms first. The two toddlers like to sneak into one another’s rooms in the middle of the night, and while seeing them cuddled together is heartwarming, it often means that come next morning, the two would be loudly playing or concocting plans on how to wake the rest of the house.

_‘Or the neighborhood’_ Charity had once proclaimed after a particular noisy morning when dragon and dinosaur sounds had rang through the house at a far too high volume than was necessary.

But thankfully the two are both in their own bedrooms, fast asleep. She shakes her head as she walks further into Moses’ room and picks up his blankets from the floor next to his bed before tucking them around him again. Placing a kiss on his head, she quietly makes her way over towards Noah’s room.

She frowns when she notes that the door is slightly ajar, finding it weird considering Noah is usually locked inside his bedroom for hours━often wondering if that room ever sees any daylight at all━, and that her son is nowhere to be seen. She decides to check the bathroom but the lights are out and the frown on her face intensifies.

Charity sees that the light in her bedroom is still on so she knows Vanessa is still awake and decides to ask her if she’d seen Noah. As she walks into the room she comes to a sudden stop.

In the bed is her fiancée reading a magazine just like she’d expected, but curled into her side is her son. Seemingly fast asleep. Words seem to be at a loss and she simply stares at the sight in front of her.

“Another lurker? Must run in the family, ey,” Vanessa suddenly mumbles out after a long moment of silence and it startles Charity for a moment before she looks up to a smiling Vanessa.

She really has no clue what to say. All she can do is keep staring with a look of surprise and confusion on her face. Did she hit her head and get some weird concussion in the past fifteen minutes or something?

For all she knows is that Noah had still seemed to keep as far away from Vanessa as possible. Although, he had been starting to behave more friendlier towards her fiancée in the past few weeks, but this? _Cuddling_ ? With _Vanessa_? That was something she’d never expected to happen.

“The not talking part seems to be a family trait as well,” Vanessa pipes up again as she flips the page of her third _Vets &Animals _ magazine.

Charity finally takes a step closer as she holds a hand out and waves it from Vanessa towards Noah and back again, “What is going on here? Did I like, hit my head, or did Dawn accidentally stab me with a syringe and is this actually a hallucination?”

“Charity,” Vanessa scolds, and gives her a tired and pointed look. Charity mouths out a _‘sorry’_ before raising her eyebrow and moving her head towards Noah, asking Vanessa the silent question of what he’s doing here.

Vanessa’s face softens, and a concerned look finds its way on there instead, “He, uh… He had a bad dream. About… _about me_.”

The last two words are said so softly that if it wasn’t for the quietness and serenity of the late hour, Charity would have surely missed them.

Charity’s eyebrows furrow and a worried look falls on her face. She simply stares at Vanessa, who takes her silence as a sign to continue, her voice even softer and a little shaky this time.

“It was about… The, you know… _stabbing_.”

It takes a moment for the words to register but as soon as they do, Charity can feel her heartbeat pick up a little and it feels as if there’s something stuck in her throat. She doesn’t know how to reply even if she had the words to, but her chest feels a little tight and all she seems to be able to get out is a soft, _“Oh… Right.”_

Needing to fill the slightly tensed air around them, Vanessa starts to speak again, or more like, starts to ramble nervously, “Yeah… We talked a little, about the dream he had, and then some other things. And then I just suggested he sat with me until you were done downstairs because he was still pretty shaken up and now… now we’re, well, _here_.”

The tight feeling Charity often feels come over her when they mention or talk about the incident━just like now━slowly loosens as she listens to Vanessa’s nervous rambling. It was something she’d found quite endearing when they’d first started seeing each other and it still made her smile now.

After taking a deep breath to shake off any of the underlying anxieties that she still has and knows she should talk about someday━but definitely not _right now_ ━about what had happened to Vanessa, she looks back up at her fiancée’s face and sends her an affectionate and comforting smile.

Charity looks back over at Noah comfortably cuddled into Vanessa’s side━someone he’d claimed that up to a few weeks ago he still didn’t like and complained about being annoying━, it was something she didn’t even dare dream would ever happen but now that it had, was something she didn’t realize she’d longed to see.

Noah had come to see Vanessa. Willingly. Because he wanted to. Because he _needed_ to. Even though it was caused by a bad dream, he’d still made his way to their bedroom to seek out Vanessa.

And though she felt bad about the reasoning, there was a sense of calm and peace that suddenly fell over her, and it was as if the final puzzle piece was finally in place. Her son didn’t like many people, was even less accepting of them, but somehow, he’d started to accept Vanessa as part of the family. And that meant the world to her.

But with everything mushy and soppy, and something way too close to something serious and emotional, Charity felt the need to make light of the situation.

So with a tilt of her head and a small smirk forming on her lips, she starts to speak up a little, “D’you know… This would be the perfect opportunity to take a picture. You know, for blackmail purposes in the future. Just, where’s my phone?”

Charity starts to look around while patting her trouser pockets and smiles when she hears her son let out a groaned _“Don’t you dare, mum.”_

“But why not? You two just look so adorable together. And look, you both got the drooling in your sleep thing down, which━”

_“Mum,”_ Noah groans out while Vanessa lets out a _“Charity”_ in a warning tone at the same time.

Charity playfully raises her hands up in the air, “Fine, fine. Jeez, one night of cuddling and already ganging up against me.”

Vanessa and Noah━who’d popped his head up a moment ago━both roll their eyes at Charity, who in return just grins and comments about it, “See! Eye-rolling in sync. You could be twins. Wait, that’d be really weird.”

“Alright, enough. Charity, go get changed, will ya.” Vanessa narrows her eyes at Charity but can’t help but shake her head with a small smile as Charity does a mock salute and starts grabbing her pyjamas before leaving the room and walking towards the bathroom.

Noah slowly starts to sit up and rubs his tired eyes before crawling out of the bed and standing next to it. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, and to find some courage, before turning towards Vanessa, who is placing her magazine down on her bedside table.

“Ness?” he asks softly with a slight nervousness to his voice. He waits until Vanessa looks up and scratches the back of his neck, “I just… Thank you, you know, for… Listening, to me and for, for letting me stay and all.”

Vanessa gives him a gentle smile, “You don’t have to thank me. Okay?”

She waits until he nods before continuing, “I know this is still an early development between us and all, but, Noah… If you ever need to talk, or _not_ talk, I’m here, yeah? I’m not going anywhere.”

Again, the look of pure honesty shining in Vanessa’s eyes make Noah believe that what Vanessa is saying, is _telling_ him, is the truth. A look that lets him know that if he ever needs anything, that Vanessa will be there for him. No matter what or when.

And it comforts him more than he thought it would.

With a simple head nod and a small smile, he turns around and makes his way back to his bedroom. Feeling a million times lighter than he’d been feeling for weeks, months even.

XOX

Charity comes back into the bedroom, dressed in her comfy PJs, and drapes her clothes over the chair before moving quickly towards the bed. Ignoring Vanessa’s eye-roll and hand that is waving towards the laundry basket in the corner of the room, she leans forward and places a soft kiss on Vanessa’s surprised lips.

“Mmhm…” Vanessa hums out before disconnecting their lips and snuggling into Charity’s side when she lies down, “What was that for?”

“For you just being you. For being amazing with Noah,” Charity says as she turns around to turn the bedlight off and then turns back again and wraps her arms tightly around Vanessa’s body.

Vanessa feels her face heat up a little and shakes her head before letting out a long sigh, “I really hate that I worried him so much. That I worried you so much. I should’ve never tackled that guy, I shouldn’t have━”

“Hey, shhh. You’re gonna get yourself worked up if you don’t breathe,” Charity soothes and places a soft kiss on Vanessa’s forehead, listening to her taking a few deep breaths to calm herself.

“When he told me what he dreamed about…” Vanessa whispers out after a moment. “I can’t even imagine the images he had, the things he dreamed up. _I_ sometimes still have visions about it. But, Noah wasn’t even _there_ when it happened and━”

“And I’m so glad he wasn’t,” Charity interrupts. “If he’d been there, I would’ve been not only panicking about you, I’d be panicking about him as well on top of being scared shi━half to death because Donny had taken Johnny.”

“I’m sorry,” Vanessa whispers out.

“Listen, it happened. Do I wish you hadn’t been so bloody reckless? Yes. But, that’s just who you are sometimes. And I know I’ve done some pretty messed up things as well, reacting on impulse and what not. But, you’re still here,” Charity points out by placing her hand over Vanessa’s heart.

“The old ticker in there is still beating steadily,” Charity jokes out, chuckling when she feels a halfhearted slap against her upper arm, before continuing, “Things, luckily, worked out in the end. Johnny is here, safe, and you’re almost as good as new.”

Vanessa knows Charity has a point but how she’d reacted in that situation and what happened afterwards still weighs heavy on her chest. She knows it’s going to take time for the guilt to subside, and she wishes so badly she had just turned around and called the coppers, or just anyone. But she hadn’t. And she needs to start making peace with that.

Peace with what had happened. And peace with the decision she’d made in the heat of the moment.

Snuggling closer into her fiancées body, Vanessa lets Charity’s words sink in and knows that they’ll be having more conversations about this in the future. Maybe even including Noah. So that they could _all_ talk about their fears and anxieties and feelings about the incident and start to heal, together.

“Now,” Charity mumbles out after a long moment of silence, “I love you ‘n all and would love to talk some more but I’m knackered and I’m not planning to get up until at least 11. And if either one of the munchkins try to wake us up before that, you’re taking care of them.”

Vanessa opens her mouth in protest, “You what? Oh, no. If _I_ have to deal with them, than so do _you_.”

“Fine, in that case I’ll just knock them out instead.”

“Charity!”

“Shhh, it’s sleepy time now,” Charity simply mumbles out and pulls Vanessa closer into her body. Vanessa shakes her head with an amused grin and snuggles closer into her front, tucking her head into her fiancée’s neck.

“Charity?” Vanessa whispers after a few moments, smiling when Charity lets out an annoyed groan, “I love you too.”

The only response she gets is a soft kiss being pressed against her head.

XOX

The night had definitely not gone how Vanessa had thought it would go━dealing with a very freaked out Noah who’d dreamed about her dying, and them then having a honest and deep talk afterwards was really _not_ something she’d expected━, and while she’d known that there was still lots to unpack about the stabbing incident, she couldn’t help but feel like tonight had been the start of something new.

It was still way too soon, but the fact that Noah had come to her and had been really open about his feelings with her, meant a lot to her. And she hopes that in the future there’ll be more moments like this━hopefully not all nightmare-induced━to come.


End file.
